I got a puppy, and the puppy blues came free.

We always talked about getting a dog someday when we owned a house, a fenced in yard, and maybe some kids, you know in the future. Well the future came way quicker than we thought and guess what, we still lived in our townhome, with no yard, and no kids. His cute face and puppy breath roped us into tumble fur, muddy paw prints, and late nights with early mornings. Oh, and a lot of poop. No amount of research can prepare you for the real thing and with that being said, we left for Idaho to pick up this potato who we call Yeti.

He was the most perfect little floofball, however, the first 10 minutes of our 20 hour drive home were filled with the biggest ear drum destroying howls from the littlest drooling mouth. (I'm serious, the drool was pouring out... all over me.) After those first 10 minutes, he slept, the entire way home. We thought he was amazing in the car, exactly what we wanted right? Wrong, the first trip to the vet my ear drums were reminded of the suffering they had endured. We surprised our family with Yeti on the way home, he was immediately loved by everyone. My mom always wanted a grand baby.. well I gave her one.

Our first night home with our new responsibility went so smoothly, I think I set myself up for failure. Jared returned to work and I stayed home with Yeti, every day all day. I went from having no responsibilities and going where I want as I please to having basically a child at home that needs me 24/7. On about day two or three, the regret set in. Can I take him back? This was a bad idea. I don't want to be that pet parent. What will my friends and family think? These are all thoughts that flooded my head.

Adjusting to having Yeti was the death of me. He was peeing everywhere, biting, chewing on everything, attacking me, scratching me, crying, you name it. I felt like I was living my worst nightmare every day. And believe me I know that it sounds dramatic, I'm completely aware that those are normal puppy behaviors and I was prepared for those. I was not prepared for how I would react to them. I was having mental breakdowns everyday multiple times a day, I stopped eating, I couldn't sleep, and I had severe anxiety.

Every night I would go to bed dreading the next day. I did tons of research on the feelings I was experiencing and it was confirmed, I had a severe case of the puppy blues, also called post-puppy depression. I was on the verge of needing therapy for the stress, anxiety, and I like to say boarder line depression because I'm really not even sure what that feels like. Every time Yeti would cry, chew, bite, attack, get the zoomies, I wanted him gone. I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life and I hated him for it. I began to feel incredibly guilty because he was a puppy and he didn't know any better. I reached out to friends and family asked for advice, they were all very concerned about my mental health and told me that ultimately it's not worth it for me to sacrifice my mental health and that maybe a dog just isn't for me.

I decided to give it a month, Yeti deserved a fair chance. Spoiler alert: I'm still a dog mom. I got a pet sitter, it helped tremendously. Yeti needed space from me just as much as I needed it from him. We also got a dog trainer, believe it or not we had to train Yeti to go on a walk. Before I knew it, I was crying less each day until eventually it stopped. Every day seemed to get easier as I adjusted to Yeti's schedule and we made one for both of us that works. He also became way more well-behaved, I will say. My hair was no longer a chew toy and I learned a few tips to make him sleep.. way more, I'm a good dog mom shhh. 

Fast forward to the present, we've had yeti for three months and my love for him is starting to settle in. (Yes, I am still adjusting and getting better.) I can honestly say up until about maybe three weeks ago I didn't feel that instantaneous love and bond that some people do with their new pets. But hey, I think I love my dog now and if not that, I like him a hell of a lot more. I wouldn't trade Yeti for anything but I will probably say we shouldn't have gotten a dog for the rest of my life. He's lucky he is cute.